| I mentioned to R last night that I have gotten "it" early. "It" being Aunt Flo, the crimson wave, the CURSE, that time of the month, or
as I, a frank woman says (god forbid) my period. The "It" (you could just hear the verbal quotes) was how it was referred to by him, not by myself. The 'god forbid' was for the peculiarity I find in people's avoidance of a certain term, substituting the afore mentioned term with an euphuism rather than something straight forward.
Don't get me wrong slang is fine, as long as you're not the sort of person who *only* uses the slang being so deathly afraid of calling something what it is. Giggly is one of those types of people. I have to say, some of her turns of phrase make for a good laugh. Kay and I lost it at work one morning when in lieu of sex, Giggly said, I kid you not -- bumping uglies. And with a straight face too, like she said something as mundane as 'table'. I almost fell on the floor laughing. I got in an argument with R over the date of my period of all things. Well you where done by so and so, before our camping trip in September, so actually you're 2 days late. Huh? Whatever. I thought I was 5 days early. I don't really keep track. It's not like I need to, I use protection. And I get a slight burst/pain when I ovulate. I know when it's coming. Ooo I'm in for it, I said ovulate. Shhh, don't tell. 'But if it's 28 days on average, subtracting 2-3 days since most months are 30 or 31, you had it ___ in Oct and ___ in Nov and blaahh blahaa bla blaaa...it's simple math'.... I stopped listening. And subsequently gave up. You're right hon, you're always right. Now shuddup. You know those "special classes" that you get when you are in 5th and 6th grade? The one's where they separate all the little boys from the little girls and send them to separate classrooms and hand out pamphlets. The pamphlets of course, are after the typical group lecture and video with some such title as 'Growing up: Changes' which could more aptly be named 'You're hitting puberty: Here's why it Sucks'. Some of the girls' pamphlets are generally accosted during the next recess and from then on, the little boys becoming men memorize the 28-day-cycle thing and deduce the "it's all simple math theory". No if's, and's, or but's. News Flash gentlemen: If you're stressed, worn down, sick, just plain soaked in a hot tub because you were achy, or, sometimes for no good reason at all -- it comes early. Or late. The tub thing is usually in the early category. Even mathematicians will tell you simple math ain't always that simple. A related grippe:
Silk glide, my ass. More like a cotton-ball wrapped in a sandpaper cylinder. I don't care that they're eco-friendly and toilet flushable. I'm already bleeding enough, I don't need my skin scraped raw - especially there. The Tampax version of a plastic applicator... you can kill someone with one of those. You might as well use the outside of a BIC pen. Just take the bottom off, pull the ink cartridge out and snap off where the roller ball is. I suggest the round stick style. I don't wanna hear nothing (or anything) about how blood is a liquid and doesn't that help, shouldn't it slide?... it doesn't. You ladies know what I'm talking about. Sorry for the entry on the vulgar side folks, but, at least you know why I'm bitchy.
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| Before - After |
| - - 2005-09-14 a first - 2002-10-21 stackers really is a psycotropic drug - 2002-10-04 nipples - 2002-10-01 yes i am - 2002-09-27 |
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| And for those of you, who are only here for the sex: The Erotic Entries
(This is not smut, or porn and it is not always explict so don't be expecting anything) |
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