I think I needed a bit of a re-couping period. Too much going on at once.

What was too much? Too much was breaking up with Rich after one week of a new job, my car being on life support - and then having it try to commit suicide with me in it, getting a new car and dealing with the pain-in-the-ass fuckers from State Farm (a good neighbor my ass!) and dealing with Billy and Lissa and their on-again/off-again bullshit.

That was a decent introduction.

1. Rich -- enough said.

(ps. I've given up on the disguising everyone's name. It's too time consuming and if they stumble on to this they're gonna know who they are anyway.)

2. The POS Mustang.
It knew it was terminal. It knew it was going to be replaced soon. It decided to punish me for not pulling a Kevorkian on it earlier. It wasn't happy that I tried to save it for a few more months by putting in a new flywheel, a starter, and a shiny new clutch.

My dying car feeling put out, then formulated a plan. It chose the worst possible place to end its life - On the Delaware Memorial BRIDGE. A great rumbling started right before I undertook the beginning incline and about a quarter of the way up, like some animal that leaves home to chose a spot to die alone, it crawled to a stop and refused to move. Shall I stress again that I was in the far right lane of a Bridge.

Subsequently being in the right (read: truck) lane, a half-dozen MAC Trucks and 18-wheelers tried to eat me while I was calling in to the DE Port Authority to let them know I broke down on the bridge. A very seeeeriousllly calm lady answered the phone told me they were shutting the lane down and asked me to pleeeassse remain in my vehicle (like i was really gonna jump because my freaking car broke down) and stay on the phone with her until they could get someone out to help me. I felt like I was talking to a goddamn shrink.

So I waited for the metaphorical white knight to come rescue me, an incarnation manifesting as a bright yellow pick-up truck with flashing yellow lights followed faithfully by a police car. Herein is when my valiant knight in his shiny yellow truck with the flashing lights pushed me up over the hump of the bridge so I could coast past the toll lanes to the far right of the other side.

This fun time was concluded when my boss Shawn came to pick me up, and later in the afternoon, after the offical close of the Marketing Department's business day, I walked over to the Imports building and signed my life away for a shiny new silver Mazda Pro 5.

Which leds us to...

3. The State Farm Fuckers
Rant Time: Okay, I know you're being sued by umpteen million people because you won't pay out on your policies, you're pulling out of Jersey and dropping 4,000 people a month come December b/c you can afford to stay in the highest rated not-only-car-but-every-kind-of-life-home-younameit insurance state, but the thing is I DON'T CARE. I just wanted insurance for 3 months until I could switch companies.

It was supposed to go like this: I give you a check for $400-something dollars, I have insurance 'till October. What actually happened was that you lost the first check, took 2 months to post my last payment on the previous policy, I FedEX-ed you a second one (putting a stop-payment on the 1st), you tried to cash the first one, all-the-while-telling me that I didn't technically have a plan until the check cashed, and made me call the customer service line so many times that I knew the lady's first name (Dot. just incase I forget later).

I have something to say:
I hope you go under. I hope that all those people suing you bleed you dry and their lawyers get rich like leeches getting fat off of a bloodworm. I hope all those incompentant people who have been sitting on my checks for 2 months at a time get black listed and lose they're accounting license and can never work for another insurance company again! Die, rot and go to HELL!
I think firebombing their main offices in NJ would be considered a public service.

4. Billy & Lissa
Let's do some math. Billy's been my friend for 9 years, bestfriend for the last 5. Lissa's been my friend for 5 years, I'm basically only girl-friend she has lately, we've been really close for 3 years or so.

Rewind to 2 years ago. They start dating. This is the first girlfriend of Billy's that's not jealous of our relationship. Yay! Happy me. Conclusion: she moves in, they're fine for 18 months, then they start fighting. He said this, she did that. vice versa. On and Off. Off and On.

What does this add up to? One big fucking mess!

And this, in a nut shell brings me up to date with only a few execptions.

1, 2, 3, 4...

(This is not smut, or porn and it is not always explict so don't be expecting anything)