Indeed.

Job: 16th of May.
Relationship (if you can call it that) bites the big one: Memorial Day.

That's 'round 'bout 3 weeks isn't it?

Maybe I should throw a party. This was my second longest relationship, the first being, well, my first relationship when I was 16. That one started in September also. Bad month, no?

Come to think -- and this is quite silly -- I miss having my anniversary on the autumnal equinox. I thought that was pretty damn special.

I swear that he did it himself, he wants me to hate him. Hell, he told me somewhere during the start of our relationship I would eventually hate him. He sure tried hard to full-fill the self proclaimed prophecy. Complete and total belittlement is really gonna make you dislike a peron.

I'm a passive person when it comes to deferring to someone I care about. I can't say loved, because he never really let me. It was one of those situations where I was never sure that he loved me so I was always left in this limbo of doubt and teeter-tootering uncertainty. Actually, I love him, but he's hurt me too much. I'm not inlove with him any more, at least it's easier not to be when I don't see him.

Nothing was ever good enough. R went on a 45 minute rant about how I never gave 100% at anything. I never have an opinion about anything. I'm like a fucking shadow. I don't know who I am yet. He stepped over the line when he said I was ungrateful about having my father pay for half of my college tuition.

What a way to make me feel like I'm not a real person. Correct me if I'm wrong, but does any 21-year-old know who they are? Seriously. I think I'm leaps and bounds ahead of most because I at least found out what I want to do for a living, went to school for it, graduated and got a great job doing it!

I only said one thing while he was yelling at me: "I'm pretty damn inadequate, aren't I?"

"No."

Well hon, that's exactly what the last half-hour sounded like to me.

1, 2, 3, 4...

(This is not smut, or porn and it is not always explict so don't be expecting anything)